The following material is gives a good perspective to dealing with difficult people. It was written by Doug Dickerson.
While the person you are irritated with may never change, understanding a few basic concepts will at least ease your frustration. Allow me to share a few simple guidelines when dealing with difficult people.
First, treat the difficult person the way you want to be treated. It’s a timeless principle, but timeless for a reason. It’s effective. You may never change the behavior patterns of the difficult people in your organization, but when you model courteous, professional behavior, hopefully somewhere down the line they will get a clue.
A difficult person, more times than not, is that way by choice. An advisor to President Lincoln suggested a certain candidate for Lincoln’s cabinet. But Lincoln refused, saying, “I don’t like the man’s face.” “But sir, he can’t be responsible for his face,” insisted the advisor. “Every man over forty is responsible for his face,” replied Lincoln, and the subject was dropped. Just as you are responsible for your face, so is that difficult person. It’s not your responsibility to change him, just treat him the way you want to be treated.
Second, take the high road. Lowering yourself to the level of that difficult person is never the answer. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn in to another’s bad behavior by behaving bad yourself. Keep your emotions and attitude in check. Don’t be like the man who was told by his physician, “Yes indeed, you do have rabies.” Upon hearing this, the patient immediately pulled out a pad and pencil and began to write. Thinking the man was making out his will, the doctor said, “Listen, this doesn’t mean you’re going to die. There is a cure for rabies.” “Oh, I know that,” the man said. “I’m just making a list of all the people I’m going to bite.”
John Maxwell said, “The disposition of a leader is important because it will influence the way the followers think and feel. Great leaders understand that the right attitude will set the right atmosphere, which enables the right responses from others.” When difficult people surround you, take the high road, perhaps others will follow you. But if not, then heed to advice of my next point.
Third, protect the morale and productivity of your organization. As a leader, it’s your duty to protect your team’s integrity and morale. Allowing a difficult person to continue on in his or her job, in the end, may cause more harm than good. As someone once said, “What you tolerate, you promote.”
Treating the difficult person the way you want to be treated, taking the high road, and protecting morale are key components of your leadership. When people in your office are walking on egg shells around a difficult person, it can be a messy situation. Do your team a favor- act with compassion, act with conviction, and act quickly.
At the end of 1945, Frank Capra and Jimmy Stewart had both just returned from World War II — and both returned sobered, with a darker view of humanity. Searching for a project to re-establish himself in Hollywood, Capra formed his own production company and optioned a property entitled “The Greatest Gift”: a short story by Philip Van Doren Stern, originally written on a Christmas card. This went through multiple rewrites before it became It’s a Wonderful Life.
The Red Ryder BB Gun is a BB gun made by Daisy Outdoor Products and introduced in 1938, named for the comic strip cowboy character Red Ryder. The BB gun is still in production despite the fact that the comic strip was cancelled in 1963. The Red Ryder BB Gun is a lever-action, spring piston air gun with a smoothbore barrel, adjustable iron sights, and a gravity feed magazine with a 650 BB capacity. The Red Ryder BB gun was featured in the popular 1980’s film A Christmas Story, where the main character is desperate to get one, but is constantly thwarted with the warning “You’ll shoot your eye out”. The movie’s fictional BB gun, described as the “Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle BB gun with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time,” does not correspond to any actual production model.
America’s first working toy oven, was turquoise and had a carrying handle and fake stove top. It was invented by designers at Kenner Products (now a division of Hasbro). In its first year, 1963, over 500,000 lucky kids talked their parents into spending $15.95. By its fifth birthday, the EASY-BAKE Oven was a household name. In 1965, Hasbro introduced the Kid Dinners for the oven which were mini TV-dinner-like trays partitioned into three sections to hold beef and macaroni, peas and carrots. In 1968, General Mills created very cool miniature boxed versions of its Betty Crocker products for the EASY-BAKE Oven. The oven is still in production almost 50 years later.